
It seems like it has been forever since my last post and by looking
at my last post date I guess it has been forever! I have trudged through
the fibro fog until I felt so lost and worn down. Thinking what have I
got left to say and who really cares even if I did? I’m plain worn out!
And I can’t think straight and even if I did….wait….I think I already
said something like that about three or four times and deleted it….
blast, it must mean something so I’ll leave it in and maybe can move
on…..lol…. I’m more forgetful of late and this is causing a few
problems around home. Forgetting to pay a bill or paying one
twice….just not a good thing. Well at least not good for my budget.
The more stressed out I get over forgetting things, the more things
I mess up and others get mad at me or mad at myself.
I have had mood swings too! Boy say howdy have I ever been
having mood swings. From crying to being just out-and-out silly.
Issues about my younger son deploying to Afghanistan has weighed
heavy on me. I am so worried and have mixed feelings about
him going, but I am going to support him all the way. I know
he wants to show he cares about our country and the basic
human rights of all people, also to help those who need help
to keep those basic rights. I am proud of him and what he is
doing, but I’m still worried….. I don’t want him to worry about
me…..watching him leave is going to be much harder than
I thought. Once again, I find myself staring off into space
and lost my train of thought. My son saw that my TV was
starting to show the signs of its age and the next thing I
know he is walking in with a 42 inch flat-screen HD
plasma TV! Good gosh! Just what was he thinking?
But he said he didn’t want mine to go out and me be here a l
one and no TV…..and since he won’t be here for Christmas.
He won’t be here for his 20th birthday either. Lord I worry.
I could have written a dozen good posts since my last post…..
but I keep forgetting them! I have started on the new medication….
the chemo one….this may be part of my problem. I know that the
day of and the two days after I take the three dose treatment, I do
feel some nausea and very dry mouth. And I also feel so rundown
and run-over! The mood swings and the fog are also part of or
are compounded by the medication. It is too early to tell if
this new medication is going to help and I have to give it some
time to see what kind of impact it will have on me. I have
come to an understanding with myself…lol….yes, I did….
myself and I had a long talk….I need to remember what
is important and what isn’t. So, I can wander around in
the fog as long as I must….have patience with myself
and others….it doesn’t matter if I have anything to say
or not…..this is where I can be me…..and sometimes
wandering around in the fog can be beautiful….slows
you down a bit….gives you a chance to see the treasures
right there all around you. So what if I forget a few things….
well not the bills or budget…..so what if the dishes have to
wait another day. I am going to make peace with the fog
and enjoy the view!
Fall season is now here and for me I love this time of year.
I hope to enjoy myself the most I can and remember it too…lol….
I hope! Hang with me folks, I hope it isn’t going to be too bumpy
of a ride. So if you find yourself wandering in your very own
fog take time to stop and take a rest.
Look around for the beauty of that moment and if we
bump into each other sit with me by my foggy
little stream and relax a spell……watch the world go
by and draw strength from that beauty and be at
peace with all that is around you until our paths
cross again……. Lila
PLEASE NOTE IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST AND YOU ARE NOT ON THE WEB SITE “LILA LOST IN THE FIBRO FOG….” THEN WHAT YOU ARE READING HAS BEEN STOLEN AND IS BEING USED WITH OUT MY AUTHORITY AND I HOPE YOU WILL COME TO MY WEB SITE BLOG AT WORDPRESS http://www.lilabyrdakabirdladybyday.wordpress.com
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